My joy was quickily stained with fear.
I try to encourage myself to think only positive thoughts but deep inside.. i am so scared out of my wits right now ... remembering my previous miscarriage experience and worrying like crazy if the same shit will happen to me again. I guess that makes me a scarred woman.
Everything worries me, right now, my ceasarian scar is itching and i wonder why is that so.
Tomorrow morning, i am going to get my blood drawn again and have my doubling time checked. I need to get a grip and not fear so much.
I read somewhere that an indication of possible miscarry, other than sign of bleeding... is a slow doubling time. A low starting beta is common and does not indicate anything bad... I am trying to pacify myself real hard with these information. In fact, I consulted a gynae and he told me not to interpret too much of beta hcg level in such early stages.. and that one beta level test does not tell anything much.
Initially i was really hoping for twins.. but now , with my not very high beta levels of 231.. all i want is a healthy baby that i can give birth to.
That will be perfect to me... 1 healthy unborn child waiting to pop out of oven 9 months from now.