Thursday, 23 October 2008

Worry Toad

My joy was quickily stained with fear.
I try to encourage myself to think only positive thoughts but deep inside.. i am so scared out of my wits right now ... remembering my previous miscarriage experience and worrying like crazy if the same shit will happen to me again. I guess that makes me a scarred woman.

Everything worries me, right now, my ceasarian scar is itching and i wonder why is that so.

Tomorrow morning, i am going to get my blood drawn again and have my doubling time checked. I need to get a grip and not fear so much.

I read somewhere that an indication of possible miscarry, other than sign of bleeding... is a slow doubling time. A low starting beta is common and does not indicate anything bad... I am trying to pacify myself real hard with these information. In fact, I consulted a gynae and he told me not to interpret too much of beta hcg level in such early stages.. and that one beta level test does not tell anything much.

Initially i was really hoping for twins.. but now , with my not very high beta levels of 231.. all i want is a healthy baby that i can give birth to.

That will be perfect to me... 1 healthy unborn child waiting to pop out of oven 9 months from now.


  1. Don't worry. Relax. There's nothing you can do now but RELAX. Leave it in God's hands now.

    P.S. We decided to skip IVF again this month. Think we are both not ready. I am not going to even think about it till next year so hopefully, I can miracously get preggy the next few months...God's hands....God's hands...

  2. wooh hoho..... i gng bk to see a very pregnant sister again.