Friday, 10 October 2008

Everyday news on the papers

Everyday now, you hear of a piece of economic bad news. As the days goes by, we wonder how these news is going to impact us everyday people and we somehow worry how our assets and investments going to be. With the news of the foreign currency dip (namely Aussie dollars), one of my currency investment portfolio is depreciated by 30%.. just like that. I am not too worried about the depreciation as my plan is long term.

As we face more news of an unstable economy, i cant help but to ask myself what is truly important to me. I pause and i think and i know the answer clearly. It is all about relationships. The world may turn upside down, but as long as I have my family, my husband, my daughter, pregnancy and the Lord watching over us. I am a complete woman.

Just not too long ago, I recalled flipping through the local papers and being bombarded by the same depressing news. I think that was not many years ago, and i remember i would hunt for that piece of little good news, like how a child was saved or a good deed done.. and i would immerse myself in that goodness.

This time, I promise i will try to be a supportive and understanding wife to my husband who brings home the bigger dough for the family. I pray that during these times, we all learn about love and sharing, about giving and believing in our daily lives.

Its another few more days before i know if this 4th round of ivf worked or not. At the meantime, i should enjoy feeling hopeful and not be ridden with worrying of the outcome. After all, this 2ww may be as close as i can get to feeling pregnant again... if its unsuccessful.

You know, one of the lessons that i gained out of these long ivf journey.. other than patience .. is my relationship with God. I remember being really happy when i had my first bfp, and i was so thankful to God. Then while trying for my second child, I am bumped with miscarriage and bfns.. and each time i get angry and felt like God has forsaken me. I doubted my own trust level in the Lord, I asked myself if i have just believe a bit harder that God is going to grant me a BFP this time , then the cycle wouldnt have fail.. or i would have miscarriage. I went through the whole notion of being very prayerful to feeling of dejection and forsaken.. I could not understand why Lord would let me suffer. Now, I have a renewed relationship with the Lord. I have a deep unshakable Faith in me that I will be blessed with another child, its a matter of the Lord's timing because He sees a bigger picture than I do and knows what is best for me.

I pray that the Lord hears my heart's desire and not let me wait too long in receiving his Gift of a child. I pray that i will have the strength to continue towards my baby dream if this one is meant not to work. And I am thankful to God that I have the financial means to seek ivf treatments.

Meanwhile, I will just wait for the time to tick by... waiting for the moment... as i try to busy myself with the routines of life.....

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