Friday, 31 October 2008

baby boy or baby girl better?


I was browsing the singaporemotherhood forum yesterday and i came across a very disturbing entry. Its about this first time mom who remarked that she cried for days when she discovered she was carrying a girl fetus. Her baby is 5 months old now and she said in her entry that she cant love the baby much because of the baby's gender. This entry is written in 2008 by a modern city lady of an unknown race. I felt so disturbed after reading it. I begin to ask myself if somehow she has been conditioned by remarks made by family or friends that a boy child is better than a girl child. Isnt it a mother's duty and nature to love the child regardless of gender?

I need to relate my own personal true experience to you with regards to my first child. When i was pregnant with my first child back in 2005/2006, after all the IVF challenges has settled with a bfp and the 1st trimester went by smoothly.. I began to ponder what sex of a child i would prefer. My family and relatives and even strangers would remark i should have a boy and how its important to have a boy. To be really honest, I felt quite pressurised by these remarks made and I thought to myself maybe its better to have a son and that a son is a better choice.

My husband in fact was the one that was completely unaffected by other's remarks.. and said wholeheartedly that he will really be very happy having a son or a daughter.

During my scan to find out the baby's sex, when i was told i am expecting a girl. I am happy but my happiness was stained with fear that i have somewhat disappointed the old folks of my family. But very quickly within the next few hours, i am already falling in love with my unborn daughter and thought of millions of reasons to myself how in fact... i love having a girl. Like dressing her up, etc.. I love my daughter so much i would give up my life for her now. And i thank God for giving me such a wonderful perfect gift for me. Btw, my fears were uncalled for,my daughter is well loved by the grandparents on both side.

Having said that, I continue to encounter sexual discrimination of my next child's gender. I will still get occasional remark from strangers that i should have a son next. It still put me in an awkward position hearing such lame remarks.

I owe it to my unborn child that I will completely ignore such remarks and will not subject myself to the pressure of gender preference. After going through this much to have a pregnancy, it will be darn stupid and silly and ungrateful of me to not guard my mind towards lame remarks of people who are close or not to me. I dont see why a girl is more inferior than a boy. I dont see why anyone should encourage such a discriminating thought.

So, I am writing this down right now. I will be equally happy.. Really happy .. to have a healthy girl or a healthy boy... and the gift of child will be perfect as it is.

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