Tuesday, 2 December 2008

The IVF Train

This morning, I prayed that my morning will be filled with peace and happiness. I am sick of feeling down in the dumps. I have been having a mug of beer every now and then to sooth my entangled nerves. I only allow myself 1 mug a day as i have to take care of my body for the next IVF cycle. Hopefully, i wont be needing to calm my nerves with alcohol really soon.

Begin on a long IVF journey is like trying to catch a train, just that the train doesnt stop for me.. I have to run and try to jump on the moving train.

Some occasion , I didnt catch up with it and was left behind waiting for the next train.

some times, I ran and jumped onto the speeding train, only to fall out of the train before i could find myself a place to sit.

And sometimes, I managed to get on board, found a cozy seat, made some pregnant friends on the train who were also heading to babyland station... but only to be thrown out of the moving train at high speed. This was the case of my ectopic.

Will i ever reach babyland again? Do i dare run after a train again? .... I must and i have to.. My 2nd child is waiting for me at the end of the train journey, its a destination i have to reach.

For the year 2009, should Feb cycle not work out, i will try again in June, and if that didnt work out.. I will try again in Oct. Thats my plan for 2009.

Meanwhile, waiting for the next train, I can either wait with fear and sadness with emotional baggage from my previous ectopic experience, or soak in the warmth of the sun, do some exercising and live some life... and look forward with anticipation. My choice.

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