Saturday, 23 October 2010

FET after Japan Kyoto Holiday Trip

Its been a few months since I've written an entry here. My 2nd child will be 1 year old this November. I have been fine, i am still chubby, weighing 64kgs, still struggling to control my diet with not much enthusiasm. I guess at the back of my mind, I figured that I am going to gain weight if i get pregnant again so might as well just wait till I'm done with child bearing before i start some serious dieting.  Well, that's the way i justify for now. :)

I will be travelling to Kyoto for a short holiday in Nov. When I'm back, I will begin prepping my body for FET by taking Clomid when my November menses begins, if all goes well, my transfer will be in mid December.

Monday, 28 June 2010

The abouts

About Weaning
My little baby is going to be 8 months soon. How time flies. I have been breastfeeding her until about a week ago. I switched her from breast to bottle formula and expressed breast milk. And when mommy feels a little sad about weaning her, I latch her on my breast for comfort feeding. Comfort for mommy and baby.

 About Self Image
Lately, I have been meeting up with mothers and some of them are so slim and still looking so attractive. I cant help feeling like a frumpy cow. Where did i leave my self esteem at? I need to go find my 'element' again. But seriously, when my tummy rumbles, i feed it, and i feel it well. Sometimes, I smother it with too much. The thought of depriving myself from the one thing that gives me pleasure and comfort ( glorious food!) still seems too hard on me.

About IVF again
I desire to have more children. And i think having 3 kids to love sounds very very fulfilling as a family. So, in order to have a shot at getting a 3rd child. I need to have my menses back. Where are you menses? I plan to use my 2 frozen embryos on the 3rd menses cycle. My frosties are not the best quality. One is 4 cells and another is 3 cells and both are day 3 embies. Well, a try is a try. I hope against hope that I will be successful and that i don't have to resort to rounds of IVFs to get there.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Monday, 11 January 2010

reading my past blog entry

I wrote this 1 day after my ectopic pregnancy surgery 1 year ago dated 6 november 08.

 Be patient with life,
despite its cruelty. 
Often it seems careless of our pain,
but just as often brings us hope again.

I gave birth to my daughter in 9 Nov 09... And Life..... did brings hope to me again.

Whoever out there who is TTCing.... dont give up.. keep the faith.

Monday, 4 January 2010

Am i done yet?

My baby is 2 months old now. I feel like i have known her for a long time, maybe because i have waited for her for a long time.

How is life after IVF like? Its like I am almost forgetting those endless cycles of IVF, those emotional roller coaster rides and those tears that had fallen during the process.

Its like I've travelled a long and rough journey to reach home and once I've reached my destination.......... amnesia sets in on the past and I simply enjoy being where I am now. This blog remains a reminder of this journey, for each stressful moment, each cry or fuss from my baby is a reminder of my victory of which i am grateful of. My Ivf journey continues to inspire me in strength.

I have 2 more frozen embryos which i plan to use in near future. I have decided that 2010 will be an IVF-free year. I will most likely go on a thaw cycle in early 2011. If i am really really really lucky, I may get a viable pregnancy from it and have a 3rd child. Will i undergo another round of fresh IVF cycle? I really cant say now... part of me feels like I am done with IVF and contented with 2 kids... part of me feels like ....... i can try one more time. Afterall, I am 33 yrs old now and technically, IVF is still hopeful for the next few years of my lifespan.

Whatever it is.... 2010 is an IVF-free year for me.....